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Nothing is Easy to the Unwilling

2012-03-06T20:55:00.005-05:00

WILLPOWER.
I've never liked the word.

'What's that word ever done to you?'

Plenty. It's provided me with an excuse to not do something I know I should be doing on the basis that I'm simply not capable. I just don't have 'the power'. And it isn't even my fault. This lack of capability was pre-determined when the willpower cards were be distributed at birth. 'I just don't have strong willpower.' Blah.

It's been my 'go-to guy' just about everytime I don't feel up to doing something.

'the ability to control oneself and determine one's actions...'

Maybe. But, I like to think somewhere along the way in my self-development I've acquired the ability to abstain from that which is damaging to myself (and others). For whatever reason, I may not always choose this path, but I'm no longer going to allow myself to blame it on a 'lack of willpower'. I'm taking responsibility for my choices and not falling victim to believing that betterment is outside my control. It's time.

Either we want something badly enough to make a change or we don't.

When you break it down, all you really need is:

That sounds a lot better to me.

So, don't let a word beat you. You're better than that. Figure out what you need, decide you're worth it and then commit yourself to it.

Learning to Dance by guest blogger Kristin Noelle

2012-03-05T09:10:00.001-05:00

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Art & essay by Kristin Noelle

I live on a peninsula where much of the ground is constantly moving. Quite literally, there are signs along the coastal routes saying "Constant land movement, Next 5 miles". Pavement cracks sometimes. Streets get covered with mud. Sewage and water pipes rest above ground, since that's the difference between constant breakage and "business" as usual. ;)

For me, this is disturbing. Houses here are built on stabler ground, but that "er" is still part of each "stable", and constant shifts surround them all.

My work is all about tending trust, however - about learning how to live in such a way that my posture toward life, again and again, becomes soft and hopeful and open, and the driver of my actions something other than fear.

So as I see those signs and feel my gut clench, I press in. What can I learn on this land about trust?

The answers I'm discovering are more about life than this peninsula.

Because isn't life just as shifting as this land? I work and work (and work!) to build a good life - a set of relationships, a living situation, an income stream - assuming I'll arrive at it somehow. As if that's possible. As if there's a finish line on each of these fronts (relational, vocational, domestic) to finally cross, and then life will be happy ever after.

But the reality is much more fluid than that. Far more about working hard and experiencing successes and defeats; enjoying dear relationships for seasons and watching them shift because of inner changes or outer circumstances; living in homes that I love or not, and that feel too big or too small or too close to the neighbors, depending on the number and size and type of people who live in and around them right now.

It's an ever-changing dance, this life. Not out of my hands completely, but neither all the way in.

And I could resist that fact, and spend a lifetime trying to claw my way unsuccessfully onto solid ground, or... (deep breath)... I could learn to accept it. Learn to find peace with my partner - with life - in this untoward dance.

Here are my current, work-related moves to do just that:

Don't even try to "arrive". Don't try to think up the Business Model of All Business Models, don't pine for the best web design, don't get glimmers in my eyes about "when THIS happens, THEN I'll be set". These mentalities are set-ups for shock and stress and indignation when life does its (predictably) unpredictable dance. They're set-ups for brittleness and rigidity, too, when it comes to success (Gasp! This is my arrival! MUST HOLD ONTO IT TIGHTLY.), rather than a suppleness that can bend with life, since bend is what life will do. Instead:

Become a student of seasons, and seek to align myself and my business with whichever one is current. Maybe I need to start with a homemade-looking site while I build my professional skills and save for something more slick. Maybe I need business model X right now to be honest about where I currently am, and to take me where I want to go. Etc.

A seasonal mindset takes the "Ech! No Way!" out of projects and plans that aren't what I always want to have or do but may need right now in order to get there, and takes the rigid clinging out of plans I have that really do rock, and that I love.

Anticipate the next season, incorporating my sense of it into decisions I'm making today. Will my choices now set me/my business up for the next season well? Are there choices I can make today that might ease my transition into the things that will come after?

Daily (every single day) unwrap my ego from its grip around my work. The more tightly I associate "me" with my work, the more shaken I become when my work changes, or when my dance with it involves breathtaking belly flops, or when something in my external or physical circumstances makes work-as-I-now-know-it impossible.

Seeing those sewage and water lines stretched out above ground and the "constant land movement" signs on the roadsides is unsettling. But from another perspective, and with some conscious work (and not a little irony), these things can bring peace - peace that the changes on this land haven't gone unheeded. People have learned and continue to learn from them, and are making good lives for themselves here as a result.

I'm not a geologist, but I am a student of life, and I suspect that the more we ignore the shifting ground beneath us, or try to convince ourselves that it's otherwise, the more likely our fears will come true. The less likely we'll live lives marked by trust that no matter WHAT happens with our "ground", we're okay; we've learned how to dance.

Kristin Noelle is a Los Angeles-based writer, speaker, and trust coach. Her work explores conscious moves we can make to nourish trust as a worldview. Find her at www.kristinnoelle.com where her sketches illuminate her writing, helping to shift it from head to heart.

* * *

It was by sheer luck that I stumbled across the amazing art of Kristin Noelle. The further I got into her website, the more quickly I realized she was so much more than an amazing artist, she is also a very gifted writer. I loved her site and the concept of 'trust tending' so much that I asked her to do a guest blog post. I'm so excited I got to share it with you today! THANK YOU Kristin for all you do to nourish trust and make the world a better place!

on turning 40

2012-03-01T09:41:00.012-05:00

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'Age is just a number,' they say. OK. And, until just now, I was not much of a fan of the number 40. I am one of those annoying people who has dreaded this birthday for ages. It seems so 'middle-age'y. But, I fancy myself to be a great rationalizer & here's what I came up with:

It's the 1st anniversary of my 20th birthday.
I'm turning 21 again. For the 19th time.
I'm becoming 'two score'.
Had I been born just a day earlier (on Leap Year) I'd only be turning 10.

As I was thinking of these (kinda stupid) things I asked myself, why do I care?

Maybe it's the 40 year old in me. (Though it's only been a few hours, I'm feeling rather seasoned.) I looked around and realized that I've learned a LOT and gathered insights and information that will be invaluable to me on the next part of my journey. What to do, what NOT to do, when to do it, whether or not to do it, how to do it, how to get someone else to do it (ha).

The first forty years of life give us the text, the next thirty supply the commentary on it. ~Schopenhauer

I'm not having a lavish celebration, much to the disappointment of my husband and kids who fruitlessly tried time and again to plan a surprise party for me. Their attempts were foiled through a variety of means, many of which I'm not proud of, like bribing my 8 year old. (who, incidentally, said he wouldn't squeal for less than $50. That kid's going places.) He never did get his $50 but the fact that he was willing to consider it meant he had the goods and that was enough for me. So, no party.

I got a giant cheesecake last night, awoke to balloons and three bouquets of flowers (one from each of the loves in this house) and just yesterday I opened the most darling gift I've received in a very long time. My adored childhood friend (now a renowned photographer) packed up her daughter & her camera and drove nearly five hours to take photos of my kids for me. I got the disc of the days events in the mail. I cherish those pictures (and her!) I had a delightful birthday lunch with another old friend today, complete with flowers, cake, candles and fizzy pink drinks. I'm surrounded by loved ones and feel oh-so-lucky!

It's these things you learn to appreciate as you turn the corner. I may be a slow learner, it's taken me half a lifetime to get here. As I sit back and think about it, I'm pretty happy where I am in life. Sure I could sit here and find something I could change or something I wish were different. But why? The facts are that I have a great husband, two kids I delight in, I'm healthy, have a roof over my head, am educated, I get to work from home doing something I love (oftentimes in my PJs looking not unlike Christopher Lloyd, with a giant mug of flavored coffee) and I have accomplished a good deal of the things my childhood mind had set out for me to do.

Today I decided that I'm going to do my best to never again complain about becoming older, as so many people in my life did not have the luxury of doing so. And with that, I celebrate today and every day that I was blessed with.

I will revel in the simple things and had my first opportunity to do so already this morning. Every Spring a little bird comes & sits on the deck outside the window where I work. I haven't seen her since last season and she was there this morning. My first sign of Spring! A new season is underway and I can't wait.

my { m a n i f e s t o } for {40}

2012-02-29T15:30:00.001-05:00

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Tomorrow's the big day.

I had a visual brainstorming session of all the things I hoped for in this upcoming year and this was the result.

but, for now...

I get one more day to live up my 30s (thank you, Leap Year!)

~See you tomorrow~

25 Quotes to Inspire & Delight

2012-02-28T09:54:00.001-05:00

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Figure out who you are separate from your family,

and the man or woman you're in a relationship with.

Find who you are in this world and what you need to feel good alone.

I think that's the most important thing in life.

Find a sense of self because with that, you can do anything else. ~Angelina Jolie

If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a word of encouragement,

or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen. ~Loretta Girzartis

Women have to harness their power- it's absolutely true.

It's just learning not to take the first no. And if you can't go straight ahead, you go around the corner. ~Cher

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize.

Your words are the greatest power you have.

The words you choose and their use establish the life you experience. ~Sonia Croquette

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power.

You just take it. ~Roseanne Barr

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. ~Janis Joplin

Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes.

In order to be free, we must learn how to let go.

Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain.

The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.

What is it you would let go of today? ~Mary Manin Morrissey

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. ~Erica Jong

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~Anais Nin

Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul; and sings the tune without words and never stops at all. ~Emily Dickinson

Our deepest wishes are whispers of our authentic selves. We must learn to respect them.

We must learn to listen. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do.

Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong. ~Ella Fitzgerald

Love is the time and space where "I" give myself the right to be extraordinary. ~Julia Kristeva

The beauty of empowering others is that your own power is not diminished in the process. ~ Barbara Colorose

The minute you alter your perception of yourself and your future,

both you and your future begin to change. ~ Marilee Zdenek

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents,

the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.

When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age. ~Sophia Loren

We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams - only the time we are here. ~Susan L. Taylor

If a woman can only succeed by emulating men, I think it is a great loss and not a success.

The aim is not only for a woman to succeed,

but to keep her womanhood and let her womanhood influence society. ~Suzanne Brogger

You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through. ~Rosalynn Carter

Follow your instincts - you never know if your ideas will work out unless you try them. ~Lulu Guinness

Find out who you are and do it on purpose. ~Dolly Parton

I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on.

Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive.

One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere. ~Agnes Repplier

I am not afraid…I was born to do this. ~Joan of Arc

10 Little Known Social Media Tools You Should Be Using - Now

2012-02-27T20:24:00.000-05:00

10 Little Known Social Media Tools You Should Be Using -- Now

BY NEIL PATEL | February 21, 2012

Social media is everywhere. It's in our homes, places of worship, schools and, of course, our businesses. Everywhere you look, people are using social media and are talking about it. And it seems that every week a new type of social site pops up.

And as the number of social networking sites grows, so does the number of services that are created to measure, track and monitor those services. What's a marketing professional to do?

To help you cut through the clutter, here are the 10 must-use social media tools that can not only help you make sense of your social media efforts but make them more effective.

1. EditFlow
EditFlow is a plugin from open source content management system WordPress that allows you to manage your editorial team seamlessly.

With it, you can get a snapshot of your month-to-month content with the calendar feature. It also offers improvedcontent status beyond WordPress' default draft and pending review. And user groups can help you keep your team of writers organized by department or function.

Who should use it and why: Any business owner who manages a multi-author website should give EditFlow a look. This tool can keep all of the things that are important to a multi-author blog in one spot so management is easy, clean and documented.

2. TweetReach
This tool allows you to see how far your tweets travel. For example, with TweetReach I can search my blog and come up with these results. It breaks down how many people your messages reach and how many tweets it took to reach them. For instance, TweetReach can tell you how many times your tweets have been shared by retweets, replies and other standard tweets.

Who should use it and why: From a social media manager to a small-business owner, basically anybody who is interested in finding out how effective his or her tweets are based upon the number of people they touch should consider using TweetReach. It can also useful from a metric standpoint in terms of justifying the results of your social media campaigns with senior management or partners.

3. ArgyleSocial
This Durham, N.C.-based startup is a social media platform that aims to help marketers connect the businessdots with the social media dots. ArgyleSocial offers a single dashboard to monitor Facebook and Twitter that allows you to delegate tasks to your team. It also offers easy reporting on the ROI of your social media efforts.

If you'd like to be an affiliate, you can use ArgyleSocial's white label brand and resell the social media platform to your clients. All of your accounts can be wrapped up into one bill and sent to you to distribute or absorb as an included service.

Who should use it and why: From the social media manager to the one-person business that needs to prove to management, clients or themselves that their social media campaign is paying off.

4. HootSuite for iPad
HootSuite users should be happy with this iPad application. It includes a stationary column in the sidebar that keeps track of all streams being tracked.

Among the other things HootSuite says you can do with this iPad app include checking in using a Foursquare account, scheduling messages to send at a later time, examine click-through statistics, add geo-location coordinates to messages and shorten URLs with a built-in Ow.ly tool.

Who should use it and why: HootSuite for iPad is for heavy iPad users who want to manage their social media content and engagement.

5. TweetLevel
You might be thinking you don't need another Tweet metric tool, but TweetLevel, allows you to specifically search for hashtags, which can lead you to insights on who to follow based upon conversation versus person.

Once you've found someone you'd like to follow, you can use TweetLevel to help measure his or her social influence. You can also evaluate the buzz around a certain topic to determine if it's a trend worth paying attention to. Then take a peek at related phrases around your topic to gauge the true scope of the trending idea.

Who should use it and why: Public relations managers and social media marketingprofessionals who want to analyze a campaign should give TweetLevel a try. This tool can help you identify the Twitter conversation, where it's going wrong and how to correct that mistake.

6. ReFollow
When it comes to Twitter, numbers might not be as important as the people you follow and who follows you.ReFollow is an application that allows you to lock in those followers that you've connected with and make sure they continue to follow you.

Other features include filtering a search on Twitter to uncover insights, such as what you have in common with certain followers. This can lead you to connecting with someone who maybe you're Twitter conversation has been close to zero, but with a simple direct message to that person you can make a connection and build a business relationship.

Who should use it and why: This can be the perfect tool for the person who wants to grow a list of highly-qualified, like-minded people. Consider using ReFollow if your concern is quality over quantity, which it should be.

7. TwitterSearch
You've probably heard of TwitterSearch but, more than likely, you aren't using it correctly.

New media expert Thomas Baekdal offers a number of little-known tips for using TwitterSearch. For instance, to see what people are saying about your competitors, search with to:competitor or from:competitor. Replace "Competitor" with that company's Twitter handle.

To uncover top trending topics search that topic plus –rt filter:links. For example, "digital marketing-rt filter:links". That code will remove all of the retweets from the search.

Who should use it and why: Anyone who wants to use and search Twitter more effectively should brush up on his or her TwitterSearch skills. And knowing what's trending on Twitter can be a useful way to generate ideas for your business blog. When you see trending topics, you can create a blog post with content relevant to that discussion.

8. Traackr
One simple way to find and follow people who are influential in your space is to use Traackr. It allows you to identify the "authorities" in your industry who can mean the most to your business or your client's.

What's also useful about Traackr is that you can watch how social media leaders are responding and contributing to content you are sharing. An ad agency, for example, can see who it should target to help social media campaigns get off the ground, build its engagement strategies based upon Traackr's unique intelligence and then see results of those campaigns.

Who should use it and why: Traackr can be a useful tool for either advertising agencies or brands that want to build social media campaigns that improve over time and show how they pay off in the end.

9. SocMetrics
The Topical Influencer platform by SocMetrics is a web-based tool that allows you to identify influencers, understand who these people are, interact with them and then monitor your campaign.

The "Competitive Influence" feature allows you to specify brands and drill down for detailed influencers. What's slick about this tool is that you can narrow your search to a long-tail keyword, seeing who is truly influential.

Who should use it and why: Any marketing professional who wants to build an effective social media campaign based upon influencers in a specific industry should give this a look. SocMetrics can help you harness the power of thought leaders, which in turn can help you build your brand and sell more.

10. Social Scope
For BlackBerry users who've longed for an app that combines Twitter and Facebook on one screen, such as TweetDeck for your desktop, consider trying Social Scope.

And on that same screen you'll see a thumbnail image if someone shares something from TwitPic. It also has a built in retweeting feature, hash tag search and will also let you see the entire URL to know where a truncated URL is pointing.

Who should use it and why: Anyone who owns a BlackBerry and has a Facebook and Twitter account is a prime target for this app. It's probably the closest you can get to a desktop-type app on a BlackBerry.

Neil Patel is co-founder of San Francisco-based online analytics provider KISSmetrics.

Source: Entrepreneur Magazine

{happy} {monday}

2012-02-27T08:21:00.001-05:00

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Giveaway Dénouement

2012-02-26T16:28:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all who entered the Pinterest ebook giveaway.
The contest has ended, but you can still grab a copy of this fabulous book

{ h e r e }

I'm thrilled to say it's been flying off the <virtual> shelves.
Whether you want to Pin for business or pleasure, this book is for you!

And for only
$10

~You've got nothing to lose~

{ f e e l } the { w a r m t h }

2012-02-24T15:33:00.000-05:00

A Pinteresting Giveaway

2012-02-21T10:14:00.003-05:00

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antique frame image: eclectic anthology

If you aren't on

yet, then this is your lucky day!

I'm giving away a copy of my brand new ebook:

Enter below!

Easy as pie.

Contest ends Sunday, 2/26.

~Winner announced on the blog the next day~

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Your Complete Pinterest Start-Up Guide

2012-02-20T23:36:00.003-05:00

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Folio No.5 : Your Complete Pinterest Start-Up Guide

Pinterest. No doubt you’ve heard about this ‘new kid’ on the social networking block. So what’s the big deal? Why Pinterest?

Not your average ‘newbie’, Pinterest has had explosive growth since its recent inception. According to a recent study, Pinterest drives more referral traffic than Google +, LinkedIn and YouTube combined!

For this reason, it’s captured the attention of crafters, moms, retailers, investors and business all over the world. Everyone wants to capitalize on that kind of growth. Why not you?

This guide walks you through the steps of setting up an account complete with images and tips along the way. Designed for the aspiring Pinterest member.

Grab my easy to follow guide to learn~

Why Pinterest
How to get followers
Why who you follow matters
How to set up your boards
Why to pin
How to pin
Getting pinned
Tips for professional looking pins
Repinning
Sharing your pins
Using Pinterest to promote your business
and more...

Everything you know to get started on the world's fastest growing social network. What are you waiting for? Grab your copy HERE.

Who's That Girl?

2012-02-19T15:56:00.007-05:00

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With all there is to see online, there’s a good chance that you, like the rest of us, have a handful of people in your niche that you look up to. You may like how they describe things, love their packaging, enjoy their blog and are awestruck by their seemingly constant stream of great new ideas.

‘If she can do it, then I can do it.’

Absolutely! And I’m all for a little friendly competition. In fact, to be a success in business you’ve got to be competitive (even if it’s with yourself!) Everyone has a handful of people that they esteem, respect, and look up to. It’s to be expected.

Consider this; if you’ve taken notice, chances are- others have, too. With the onslaught of new businesses popping up on the internet hourly, truly unique businesses are more and more difficult to come by. When you find one, it’s like a breath of fresh air. So how do you go from being the followed as opposed to the follower? It’s easier than you might think.

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Get to know yourself.

You can’t be original if you don’t know who you are. You may think you know who you are but most of us have merely an idea. And a lot of that idea may be based on who others expect us to be. Or someone we expect to be based on those who we emulate. Toss all of that out the window. Who are you are your very core? This takes time because it’s extra, super hard. And as difficult as you think this is, you end up wishing it were that easy. But it’s worth the work. I promise.

Not sure where to start?

Try journaling. Here are some prompts to get you started.

When you can connect with yourself, you’ll be able to make your life lessons, your triumphs and struggles work for you, not against you.

Draw from your experiences.

Dig deep.

The rest will follow.

There’s only one you and when you create based on your ‘you-est you’, your light will shine more brightly than you’ve ever imagined.

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone. ~Coco Chanel

Make a Plan.

Without a business plan and clearly defined goals, your chances of success are nearly nil. Once you’ve got a handle on who you are, you can decide where you want to go … and not the other way around.

I can’t tell you how many times I sold things on ebay so many years ago because I thought it’s what was trendy. It seemed to be what everyone wanted to buy at the time. I thought I had it all figured out.

Not quite. The result was that when the trend inevitably ended, I was left with a stockpile of yesterday’s news that I’ll be lucky to sell for what I purchased it for years ago.

The reason is simple. I was following trends and going after what I thought was expected. There was a lot of competition. It’s the old supply vs. demand theory at work. The hotter it is, the more likely that a lot of shops will be selling it. So why not strike when the iron’s hot, then? I’ve got no issue with capitalizing on a trend. Millions of dollars have been made like that. BUT, you’ve got to be able to see past that fraction of your business to see what you truly want to be doing. Constantly pursuing the next best thing is exhausting and frustrating and, truth be told, is the reason a lot of business owners throw in the towel. Including me.

I’m proud to say that I’m no longer a slave to the latest craze. Grabbing a quick buck was nice. I just knew it wasn’t what I was meant to do.

I stopped silencing that voice prodding me, did some self-discovery and turned a very important corner. I started Designher Brands a year ago and have done very well. Because I‘m doing what I love.

I’m help other people get in touch with themselves and bust through their self-doubt. With a little encouragement, it’s not all that hard. After all, they put the walls up, so they’re actually a lot easier to knock down.

And I write. In the past year, I’ve written for over a hundred clients including some NY Times Best Selling Authors, famous clothing designers, well-known artists and lots more. I’ve penned magazine columns, biographies, been featured dozens of times, written product descriptions, company business plans several (soon-to-be-released) digi-guides and toolkits with no end in sight.

And I haven’t solicited a single client.

Why?

Because after a decade of chasing clients and business around as a sales person, I finally figured out why it wasn’t working. I was doing the expected. Now, I write what I want to. It comes from the heart. It doesn’t follow convention and it isn’t written because I think it’s what I should be saying.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings

It all became clear to me as I started making some very important decisions in my own life. I began letting go of some things I had been holding on to for no apparent reason. I took what I needed from these lessons and I let the rest go. I stopped listening to people who were less-than-encouraging. I stopped feeling guilty. I read a lot and did some journaling of my own. I surrounded myself with all good things- things that were good for ME. It took me awhile but the end result is priceless: I’m pretty proud of it. Being genuine has afforded me a freedom I couldn’t ever buy in a store.

And something else happened. As I grew personally, I grew financially. When I wasn’t even looking, I found that I had made more in the past year than I had in the previous two years combined. And I worked fewer hours and carried around much less stress.

I want this for you, too. ALL of you!

So, do yourself the hugest favor ever.

Take yourself out to lunch. Sit quietly. Create.

Look deep into the mirror and ask yourself, ‘who’s that girl?’

The more you get to know her, the more you’ll love her!

Listen to her, she knows what’s best for you.

At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

UPDATE on the 40 Before 40 List...

2012-02-16T19:06:00.001-05:00

A little while ago I posted my TO DO list before I turn 40. With just two weeks to go, I'm definitely getting somewhere! Here' an update on my progress...

~~1. Make a 40 by 40 list~~ {YAHOO ~ One down!}

~~2. Start a journal~~

~~3. Get into a regular exercise routine~~

~~4. Organize my office {THIS is a gigantic task!}~~

~~5. Get rid of everything in my house that isn't useful, beautiful or sentimental~~

6. Get a notebook dedicated solely to doodling

~~7. Destash the jewelry supplies, fabrics and trims I am no longer using~~

~~8. Write a published column~~ I write for Belle Inspiration magazine & have write occasional articles for Make Mine Pink as 'The Marketing Maven' and am being published in Shabby Lane Shops magazine.

~~9. Clean out every closet in my house~~

~~10. Go to bed earlier~~

~~11. Figure out a way to simplify my taxes~~

12. Get a one hour massage

13. Get back into my favorite old Levis

~~14. Buy myself a pair of Frye cowboy boots~~

~~15. Take a day trip with the hubby while kids are in school, end with dinner at our favorite restaurant~~

16. Go to Texas {planning a trip in April}

~~17. Reach 1,000 fans on my Facebook Business Page~~

18. Finish making some the jewelry I started {there's a lot}

19. Sell some of that jewelry on my other website

20. Go on a girl's weekend

21. Publish my ebooks

22. Get a mani/pedi

~~23. Go on a family day trip~~

~~24. Try making a new recipe~~

~~25. Redecorate my family room~~

~~26. Clean the basement~~

~~27. Scan the antique images I have in a pile upstairs~~

~~28. Read some new books ...any suggestions?~~

~~29. Donate all my past magazine issues to the nursing home in town~~

30. Go sledding

~~31. Get a big {organized} calendar dedicated to work~~

~~32. Learn that I don't have to own everyone else's problems~~

~~33. Hand-make some new Fall & Christmas decorations~~

~~34. Say 'no' more often~~

35. Leave comments on 50 new blogs

~~36. Host a giant blog giveaway~~

~~37. Take my 86 year old great aunt to a nice long lunch full of chatting and ending with fried ice cream~~

~~38. Switch out one cup of coffee for one cup of tea {note: this is for health reasons not a personal choice!}~~

~~39. Surprise the kids at school with lunch~~

40. Work on some of the new items/lines I started developing for Adored Before

UPDATE: Outlive Your Life

2012-02-06T23:00:00.002-05:00

As a follow up to my recent post 'Outlive Your Life' referencing Angels of Mercy & Dress A Girl Around the World... I thought you might want to CHECK OUT the short video of the event!

This slideshow generated with Smilebox

Ten FREE Valentines Day Fonts

2012-02-05T15:20:00.001-05:00

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1. Krishart
2. TX Love
3. Heart Heaven
4. Jules Love
5. Queen of Hearts
6. Jellyka Love & Passion
7. Scribbleheart
8. Be my Valentine
9. iloveyou
10. KR All about the Heart
{heart scribbles}

Ten Ways to Spring Clean Your Website

2012-02-01T07:30:00.001-05:00

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Photo by Jennifer Wolsey

My latest article 'Ten Ways to Spring Clean Your Website' is now available! You can read all ten tips and discover all sorts of beautiful and amazing finds from around the world in the current issue of Belle Inspiration magazine.

Outlive Your Life

2012-01-31T11:37:00.016-05:00

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'In the game of life, many of us who cross home plate do so because we were born on third base. Others aren’t even on a team' ~Max Lucado

My husband's grandmother was a very special lady. You never had to wonder where you stood with her. She was a do-it-herselfer. A Depression Era child, she handmade much of her own clothing, attending to every detail. When she passed nearly a decade ago, we sadly gathered up her clothing and were set to donate them. As I sorted through the bag all those years ago, I had the feeling that these clothes were different. Special. That I held onto something more than just a bag of dresses. So much love had gone into these, I knew there had to be more to it...

That Christmas I carefully cut squares from the dresses and assembled quilts for her two daughters. My mother in law and Aunt were thrilled with the keepsakes. I packed up the remaining fabric into bins and tucked them into storage.

It just so happened that I was cleaning out the storage area last week. I came upon that box of fabric. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it. I couldn't bring myself to donate it. Not this bunch.

The next day, I was visiting a friend who is involved in Angels of Mercy & Dress A Girl Around the World, an organization dedicated to providing dresses to keep young girls clothed and thus, safe from sex traffickers, who often prey on poor, vulnerable girls in impoverished countries. Each dress comes complete with a doll tucked in the pocket to show that someone cares about them. She asked me if I had anything I could donate.

And there it was.

Gramma was a professional saver, believing everything had a purpose. And she was right. So, almost ten years to the very day of her death... Gramma is going on a trip. It's not any trip, mind you. She is on a mission. The clothes that once welcomed her own children home from school are about to get a new purpose. And it's just what she would've wanted.

Bon Voyage, Gramma

•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥●•

Making this even more special is that this particular dressmaking day is being held in honor of a friend of mine who lost her battle with cancer just last month.

Each dress will have a tag that reads, 'in memory of Laura'.

Before her death, Laura (pictured below) traveled as a missionary to El Salvador. It just so happens that the local Young Life group trip this time around is to....yup, you guessed it. El Salvador. And guess what they're taking with them...

Life is good. God is good.

And don't believe ...even for a minute...

in coincidences.

If you'd like to volunteer for {or donate materials to} Dress A Girl Around the World in your area, check out their website.

This much is clear: the storehouse is stocked. The problem is not in the supply; the problem is in the distribution. God has given this generation, our generation, everything we need to alter the course of human suffering.

~Max Lucado

How to Get More Clicks on Twitter

2012-01-27T19:22:00.001-05:00

Source

The Small Business Social Media Cheat Sheet

2012-01-27T19:19:00.000-05:00

Source: ReadWrite

perspective...

2012-01-24T14:27:00.000-05:00

image credit

The Keys to Publishing: A Giveaway

2012-01-06T12:29:00.009-05:00

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Ever wondered...

... in books, magazines, and online? Well,

Jenny Doh of Crescendoh will show you her proven methods (the nuts and bolts) of how to get published ... how to develop a proposal, how to make a pitch, and how to follow up with the details to make it happen.

In case you didn't know...

Jenny is the founder and publisher of www.crescendoh.com and former Editor-in-Chief of Somerset Studio and its many sister magazines. For her leadership in publishing, Jenny was recognized by Folio magazine as one of the top 40 leaders within the publishing industry.

She is the author and packager of numerous art and crafting books.

Discover her books to date here.

She'll teach you about being clear about the heart of what you want to publish, knowing your intent for wanting to be published, and having the discipline to work on that heart and intent in a committed and consistent basis is the hard part.

Says Jenny, "In this course, we will examine both the heart of what you want to share with the creative world in terms of what you create, and demystify the process of sharing your work through publications. We will also discuss how to leverage other "spokes of the creative wheel" in terms of teaching, selling, and relationship building to develop and strengthen your overall creative momentum.

We will also learn a dramatic lesson about the process of letting go and coping with worst case scenarios. We'll dig deep, think critically and prepare our strategies in three highly focused weeks of curriculum that will remain available for you to review again and again throughout the entire 2012 in The Creative Lab."

It's SO easy to enter-you can earn more entries every day~~~Come back each day for more entries!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

A Quick Guide to Naming Your Business

2012-01-04T10:39:00.000-05:00

A Quick Guide to Naming Your Business

BY JAY CONRAD LEVINSON, JEANNIE LEVINSON AND SETH GODIN | January 2, 2012

Naming a product or a company is a difficult decision. Unlike most challenges you’ll face, this one is in a field in which virtually everyone claims expertise. The first thing to remember when naming something is not to rely too heavily on another’s advice. Names created by committee are usually losers.

Don’t forget about the law. Your name can cause a Jurassic Park-size problem if you don’t first conduct a legal name search. The last thing you want is to hit it big, then be forced to change your name because a tiny company has the same name and wants $100 million from you for the rights to it.

Start by sitting down and making a list of what you want your name to stand for in the mind of the consumer. Your name should reflect your name and your positioning. Haagen-Dazs is supposed to make you think of cold fjords and rich, creamy milk. It doesn’t matter that there’s no such person as Haagen or no such place as Dazs—the name serves its purpose.

You must decide what you want your name to imply. It’s usually the first thing your prospects learn about you. Here are some of the things your name can tell your prospects about you:

• Quick
• The best
• Convenient
• Highest quality
• Experienced
• Fun
• Outrageous
• Reliable
• Inexpensive
• Guaranteed
• Recommended
• Honest
• Dangerous
• Unique

Once you’ve got your list of attributes, try it out on peers and focus groups. For example, if you’re starting a dry cleaning service, ask them if the attributes you’ve chosen -- fast, reliable and inexpensive -- would meet their needs. If not, adjust your list and try again.

Related: How Can I Find a Good Name for My Business? (Video)

Now that you’ve got a list, you’ve got to make a decision. Do you want a name that’s generic, descriptive or fanciful? Any lawyer will tell you that a fanciful name is the best sort of trademark. It’s the easiest to protect from encroachment by competitors, and eventually it makes the strongest name. A fanciful name is one where no picture comes to mind. No one knows what a Nike or a Xerox looks like.

The problem with fanciful names is that it takes an awful lot of time and money to persuade the consumer that they stand for something. The name itself doesn’t begin by positioning the product or the company. So for most guerrillas, a fanciful name is too expensive to develop into an asset.

The second alternative, which is more difficult to protect, is a descriptive name. These names help position your company or product, and they telegraph information about what you do. Some examples:
• Speedy Muffler
• Ultimate Auto Body
• College Pro Painters

Descriptive names are my favorites. They communicate enough about your product to help the sale, but they’re unique and stick in the customer’s mind and help stop the competition.

Related: How to Name your Business

Lastly, you can use a generic name. These names are virtually unprotectable, but they have the ability to immediately telegraph what your business does.

Some generic names include:
• International Business Machines
• U.S. Steel
• Park Avenue Cleaners
• General Foods

As you can see, sometimes a generic name takes off and works, but in general, it’s an uphill battle—you’ve positioned your company, but your company has no identity.

Examples of Good Names

• Faith Popcorn—a memorable name that reminds you that she doesn’t take things too seriously.

• National Public Radio—a simple name that immediately connotes weight, seriousness, and the fact that everyone is involved.

• Staples—a simple word that brings together a ubiquitous office supply with another word for “essentials.” Once learned, the user never forgets what it stands for.

• Head and Shoulders—the name lets you see the benefit of the product—no dandruff on your shoulders.

• Apple Computer—simple, friendly, basic, easy to remember.

Eight Simple Rules for Choosing a Business Name
1. Your name should have a positive ring. Avoid anything negative. Your name should make people enthusiastic and optimistic about working with you.
2. Avoid difficult names. If people have trouble pronouncing it or spelling it, they won’t remember it. (Embarrassing exceptions: “Haagen-Dazs” and “Guerrilla.”)
3. Make your name unique. You don’t want people confusing you with a business that already exists, especially if it’s one with a poor reputation.
4. Don’t use a name that will limit you down the road. Acme Sleep Shop will limit you to selling sleep products. Acme Interiors is more open to expansion.
5. Use a descriptive name, such as Jiffy Lube. Note that this name also conveys a benefit.
6. Don’t get caught up in trends or fads. While it may be profitable in the short run, you can’t ride a fad for the long haul, and focus on the long haul.
7. Your name should reflect your identity: dignity, largeness, local identification, quality and other descriptive elements.
8. Pick a name that looks and sounds attractive on the phone, on the radio, on your letterhead, and on your website.

This article is an adapted excerpt from The Best of Guerrilla Marketing -- Guerrilla Marketing Remix (Entrepreneur 2011) by Jay Conrad Levinson and Jeannie Levinson and contributing authors, including Seth Godin.

Jay Conrad Levinson is the author of Guerrilla Marketing and chairman of Guerrilla Marketing International. Jeannie Levinson is the president of Guerrilla Marketing International and is a founder of the Guerrilla Marketing Association. They are the co-authors of The Best of Guerrilla Marketing -- Guerrilla Marketing Remix from Entrepreneur Press and are based in Florida. Contributing author Seth Godin is the author of 13 books, including Poke the Box, and is the founder of Squidoo.com, a community website that allows users to create pages on subjects of their own interest.

♛ Happy New Year ♛

2012-01-01T22:29:00.001-05:00

An Open Letter to 2012

2011-12-31T11:08:00.003-05:00

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I anxiously await all you have to offer. Your predecessors have been mostly kind and have come bearing many blessings and gifts. Yes, there have been tough times and I don't even ask that you spare me from them this year. I had thought about asking for that, but I knew that it would set me up for disappointment and worse yet- it would also deprive me of the lessons those times bring. You see, 2012, I've learned that less-than-great things DO happen and that they're not happening TO me, they're happening FOR me. And that's a big difference. They're going to happen because they are sharing a lesson or a hidden blessing. Something I need to know. Something I will learn best when it is accompanied with tears or maybe even some anger at the time. So don't feel badly about them. I know they're coming. I just want you to know, I'm ready.

In 2011, I said goodbye to some old friends, who -as it turns out- weren't friends at all. Self-doubt, excessive guilt and people pleasing, to name a few. I began working with women more closely than ever in 2011 and have found that this is absolutely NOT uncommon. I don't have the time to delve into all of the WHYs, so I shall skip ahead to the WHY NOTs:

Every woman I worked with this past year has been full of their own brand of creativity, energy, great ideas and OH so much potential. Aaaand almost every one of them have told me that they don't see that. It's frustrating to see greatness on a shelf. It's not doing anyone any good up there. It has to be taken down, dusted off and used for the greater good. Even if that greater good is simply crossing it off your bucket list. Maybe you can send them a little lesson to let them know that it's ok to shine. We all have our WHY NOTs but this year instead of asking "why not ME?" -I hope they'll ask "why NOT me?"

As for myself, this year I resolve to get it done. I'm going to do those things that have been sitting around taking up space in my heart and mind. It's time.

In a couple of short months, you'll have the distinct honor of helping me enter into my 4th decade of life. Be gentle with me. I have learned so much, but know there is so much more to learn. I hope it will arrive without any storms~but no matter what happens, I will not complain about growing older, as I know so many others (including a few people I hold dear) did not have the chance.

This year I want to continue to be a giving person, but to learn to give in a 'smarter' way. This year, I want to learn to SHARE the things I have learned as opposed to GIVING them away. I admit I have a problem with confusing sharing and giving. But 2011 taught me this: If you've taken the time to learn something-and a lot of these lessons can be so painful- then you have earned the lesson. Feel free to share it with others. Sing it from the rooftops, in fact. But be sure you keep something for yourself.

2012, I'd like to propose a trade. If you have the time, could you try to share some of the things I have learned with those who might need it? And in exchange, I promise to listen to all of the lessons you bring to me as the days turn into weeks.

The things I wish to share are:
My new romance with the simple things. The simple things have been courting me for awhile and just recently I decided to give in and give them a chance. Why did I wait so long to discover that every day has its own song? And sometimes it can simply be a gentle playful hum as opposed to a grandiose symphony. What a blessing it is to be able to see the joy in the littlest of things. I admit that that lesson was learned with difficulty, but it's here so I refuse to complain about it. I have found myself to be profoundly more happy when I began to notice the little robin that comes to visit me outside my window as I work during the day. A new flavor of coffee creamer. A softly falling leave, a gentle snowfall, a ray of sun struggling to be seen through the clouds. It's all there to behold if only we take a few seconds to notice.

The relative ease of basic survival. Survival -such an ominous word- always associated with life and death situations. But, we can survive little things....like every day. Like a difficult phone call. Or an embarrassing moment. Or a bad hair day. If we don't let these things consume more than their fair share of our happiness, then we have survived. It seems over-simplified, but really...it's not. As each day comes to a close, lift up a prayer of thanks, for you have, in fact, survived it. It may not have been perfect, but tomorrow is another day. If you're still having trouble with these joy-killers, then I have a secret for you: Laugh at them. They HATE that.

If you want to be happy, stop trying to convince yourself you're miserable. Things have happened to you in your life. Me, too. They have all brought us to the same place: today. Where you are today is a compilation of everything you have been through in your life. Perhaps you aren't altogether thrilled with where you are today. That's not a bad thing, it just means there's still some work to be done. It's almost a bit exciting as it means there are lessons and opportunities to come. And before you're angry about your lot in life be sure you aren't so busy crying the blues that you cannot hear opportunity knocking. It doesn't like to visit too often so try to leave the door ajar. Sometimes opportunities present themselves in the most unlikely of ways. Be open to seeing them. They're always there, you need only capitalize on them.

The importance of living your truth. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Make sure to take the time to REALLY know yourself. To me, the essence of YOU is who you are when you are all alone. What you do when no one else is watching or when you know no one else will ever know. Living your truth means answering the little voice that's been tugging at your sleeve. Do the things that you feel will complete you. To make yourself the best you you can be. No one is going to do it for you. Don't feel obligated to live your life for other people. Ever.

And those are the little lessons I have learned that I would like to share with anyone who is open to considering them. I hope they are as helpful to others as they have been to me.

And so with that 2012, I wish you all the best as I know you have many jobs to do. You will bring so much to so many. It's a giant undertaking, but I know you're up to the task. I'm confident that together we can make a lot of wonderful things happen. We've got a dozen months. 52 weeks. Heck, we've even got an extra day this Leap Year. I know we can do it all, one beautiful day at a time.

Oh, and when you see 2011 tonight, can you give her a message for me?
Tell her that while I am saying goodbye to her, she will not be forgotten. She was treasured, valued and lived. I'll never forget all of the good times and I promise to tuck the lessons she sent me in a safe place and call upon them when I need to. And don't forget to thank her for me, please. I feel blessed and honored to have been a part of it.

Thanks in advance, 2012.
Here we go!

TWENTY Fabulous FREEBIES ~ Antique Fonts, Graphics, Images & More

2011-12-28T13:06:00.005-05:00

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Swoon-worthy free antique page graphics

Browse one of the largest free Public Domain archives of Victorian, and Edwardian era clipart on the Internet! Containing 1044 clipart images of People, Flowers, Animals and more! These clipart images are ALL from vintage sources, and have been scanned, restored, and placed into the Public Domain by AntiqueClipart.com.

Vintage/Grunge Social Media Icons

Awesome Antique Font

FREE Photoshop Actions

Grunge Textures/Wallpapers/Backgrounds

Set of Grunge Textures

Over 1,000 Photoshop brushes in all styles

Grunge Vector Border Frames

Scroll Parchment Vectors

Another Amazing Antique Font

Antique Typography Buttons and Banners for Websites & Blogs

Vintage Sticky Tape Images & Photoshop Brushes

Aaaand, finally...some freebie antique graphics from my personal collection:

Please use all graphics and freebies ethically. Each freebie has its own terms of use, please read carefully on each individual website to be certain you're using them properly. As for my graphics above, you may use them for personal use but I ask you do not use them for commercial work, that you do not resell them and that they do not become collage sheets. Thank you! ENJOY!

Paper Wishes - 100 Journaling Prompts to Inspire and Encourage

2011-12-21T10:36:00.014-05:00

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Journaling provides us with a necessary outlet for our thoughts and feelings. It reminds us to validate and acknowledge them as being important enough to write down and examine. In putting them on paper, we have allowed ourselves to catalog and process them and then to release them, freeing ourselves for more opportunities.

A journal's purpose is best served when it is written for you and you alone. The most effective way to journal is to write freely, knowing that no one else will ever see it unless you invite them to. Often times we write for a perceived audience. We consider our words too carefully, lest they be judged by others or for fear of hurting someone's feelings. If we are to truly know ourselves, we should write candidly, openly and without fear of reprisal. Here are 100 journaling prompts that should help you on your path to writing your truth. No excuses! So, pick up a pen and get to work. Start writing and don't stop until there is nothing left.
Your life story -as you see it-is waiting to be told.

1. Define your personal style.
2. Describe a time when you were brave.
3. What does being a friend means to you?
4. I wish everyone had___...
5. Your idea of a perfect day.
6. In what ways do you consider yourself to be quirky?
7. How do you feel about loneliness?
8. Your favorite childhood memory.
9. Someone whose life is better because they knew you? Why?
10. Ten things you hold most dear.
11. Describe LOVE using all five senses.
12. Someone that you are keeping in your life for their sake, not yours.
13. Something you have been avoiding.
14. A goal you've been putting off.
15. Who is someone you admire? Why?
16. Someone who profoundly affected you.
17. I secretly wish I ___...
18. Your biggest fear & how to conquer it.
19. Who do you need to forgive? Why?
20. Your bucket list.
21. Something about yourself that you're most proud of.
22. What role do you play in your family?
23. Something seemingly out of your reach.
24. How do you feel you are perceived by others?
25. What's your favorite color and why?

26. The three things you are most grateful for today.
27. Write a letter to your parents, spouse, children.
28. Describe what feeling safe means to you.
29. Three words to describe your life.
30. Something you have always felt was missing in your life.
31. Do you feel lovable?
32. Some things that you'd like to hear right now.
33. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be and why?
34. What lessons did you take from your regrets?
35. Describe your dream home.
36. Your most embarrassing moment.
37. Your proudest moment.
38. Describe a failure that turned out to be a blessing.
39. Your interpretation of a recent dream.
40. Something you want people to know about you.
41. Something you don't want people to know about you.
42. What's your favorite song and why?
43. Someone who is not in your life as often as you would wish and why.
44. What characteristics do you judge the most harshly in others?
45. What characteristics do you judge the most harshly in yourself?
46. Describe a time you felt courageous.
47. Your most satisfying victory.
48. Your most agonizing defeat.
49. Write a letter to someone who hurt you that you will never send. Just to get it out of your heart & mind.
50. How do you want to be remembered after you die?

51. How would your life be different if you felt comfortable being yourself at all times?
52. Describe 'a beginning' that impacted you.
53. Describe a situation in which it was 'the end' of something for you.
54. What do you believe is your life purpose?
55. Describe the kindest thing you have ever done for someone.
56. Something you did to someone that you have trouble forgiving yourself for.
57. Describe how you felt when you visited your grandparent's house as a child.
58. A gift you gave someone that you were most proud of.
59. Write a letter you would like read at your funeral.
60. What does forgiveness mean to you?
61. What type of person makes you feel inferior?
62. Three characteristics you would like to possess.
63. What are some things you can do this week that you can be proud of?
64. Describe a time when you made someone's day.
65. I wish people would___...
66. Some things you take for granted and why?
67. What would the title of your biography be and why?
68. Some things you noticed today that you had been missing all along?
69. What room in your home best reflects who you are and why?
70. When you give do you eventually expect something in return?
71. Is your destiny formed by choice or chance? Explain.
72. If you could go back and do it again, at what age would you like to begin from?
73. List five non-materialistic things you would like to have right now.
74. What area of your life needs the most growth and how are you working on that?
75. Something you could invent to make the world a better place.

76. What things about yourself do you feel that someone who just met you would like?
77. Something you have been meaning to do and have been putting off. Why?
78. What era do you feel you would have most comfortably belonged living in?
79. Who is your hero and why?
80. If money were no object what gifts would you give to three people in your life?
81. Describe your sense of humor.
82. Describe the process you go through when you are planning to buy something expensive for yourself.
83. Write a letter to God.
84. What's your definition of family?
85. What do you feel most guilty about? Why haven't you been able to forgive yourself?
86. Write a letter to your past.
87. What emotion dominates you life lately?
88. If you could change one thing about your life what would it be and why?
89. What positive, life-affirming aspects do you carry with you every day?
90. Take a crack at writing a poem!
91. Write a fairytale starring you.
92. A time you acted without thinking and it's impact on you and others.
93. What if you were granted three wishes?
94. A goal you're working towards and your progress so far.
95. What things in your life do you truly enjoy vs. tolerate?
96. What are your three largest priorities?
97. Something in your past that needs letting go of.
98. Some things you do daily that you don't enjoy and why? Can they be re-evaluated, delegated or eliminated?
99. How do you feel about commitment in general?
100. Write a sincere letter to someone you need to forgive. Even if it's yourself.

Ten things you can do today to make 2012 your most successful year yet!

2011-12-14T11:08:00.003-05:00

Art from Bravegirls Club

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The end of the year is both a magical and stressful time of the year for individuals and businesses alike. Between wrapping up the end of the year numbers and preparing for the new year, all sandwiched between decorating, baking and general Merry-making activities, December is bound to take a toll on you. Here are ten things you can do today that can have a profound and measurable effect on what happens in the upcoming year for your business.

1. Make Friends. Quit worrying about the competition stealing your ideas. If you're going to BE out there you've got to put yourself out there. Go find some friends in a complimentary business and learn from each other. Some of my very best professional relationships are from women in the same industry. We work together all of the time to try to come up with everything from contests to marketing and everything in between. Some times I just need to ask someone if an idea sounds feasible (or completely insane!). Work together and it all works for the greater good.

2. Do something you've always wanted to do! There's no time like the present. Don't wait for conditions to be just right. Need some confidence? Again... ask those friends you made in tip #1 for some confidence boosters and I'm willing to bet that they'll become an instant cheering squad!

3. Stay with it! Don't give up. So many women are far too easily discouraged in their businesses. When something doesn't go according to plan - as opposed to figuring out what is not working, they tend to abolish the whole thing. Throwing the baby out with the bath water, as they used to say.

When things get tough you can either throw in the towel or use it to wipe the sweat off your face. When doubt nags at you it doesn't necessarily mean it's time to close up shop. It means it's time to adjust your sails. What can you do that you haven't tried? What's working? What isn't? Not sure? Ask some of those friends you made from tip #1, above! When the world says 'give up', hope whispers, 'give it one more try.' Which leads us to...

4. Downsize. It's likely that not everything you're doing is going according to plan. You need to figure out what's working and what isn't and then act accordingly. In order to make room for your passions and for some NEW things, you will need to downsize some of the 'dead weight'. Pick your bottom third of products and consider eliminating or reducing them.

5. Streamline your system. You should have an idea of how long it takes you to prepare, photograph, list, package and ship an item. Every last detail should be accounted for in order to maximize efficiency and leave you as much time as possible to create and enjoy!

6. Keep learning. I get some of my best ideas by simply floating around the internet. Pinterest is an amazing source of inspiration. Not only for project ideas but for techniques, packaging, display and even for some great snack recipes to enjoy WHILE you're creating!

7. Don't be afraid to fail. No matter how hard you tried, some things simply are not going to work out. Before you dismiss the entire thing, see if you could've tweaked this or that. If you've explored all avenues and nothing seems to work, it's time to let it go. Hanging onto things that didn't turn out just as we had hoped is a real roadblock to our success. A constant reminder that something we did did not go as planned. Ditch it, move on. Give that next idea in line its time to shine!

8. Show Off. There is nothing wrong with singing your own praises from time to time. Published? We wanna know about it. You've worked hard to get here and you deserve it. Don't leave your success buried between the pages of a magazine. Show us! Got a new products line? Well, let's see it! It's good business to toot your own horn. No one else is gonna do it for you! (Just be careful not to blow tooooo loudly , lest you scare some people away!) Most people who truly admire you and your work will be thrilled to read about your successes. And those who aren't? Well, we don't need them around anyway. (See tip #1...again!)

9. Freshen Up. The wording on your website may need a bit of freshening up for the new year. Is website really expressing what you truly do? Is it saying so in a manner that's welcoming and inviting to customers? Does it tantalize the search engines? Check your analytics. Where are your customers coming from? What are their demographics? Is this who you're targeting? If not, let's talk.

10. Love it. I can't say it enough. You need to love what you're doing. If you don't, even if you're making good money doing it - then it's not as successful as it could be. You deserve to be doing what you love. When you do the rest will inevitably follow. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. Believe in yourself. Follow your passion. BELIEVE that you deserve it. Because you do. You got this, sista.

Owning a small business is never as easy as you'd hoped. By keeping yourself organized and happy you will be able to get the most out of your business this (and every) year!

For more encouraging artwork like the piece I used in the beginning of this post, visit Kathy and Melody of Brave Girls Club ~while you're there, don't forget to sign up for their Daily Truths!

There Are NO Losers!

2011-12-12T12:17:00.000-05:00

OK, so you didn't win.

I know you're bummed about it. But, don't despair. It's the holidays! So knock out that pout. I've got some pretty great news....

As I mentioned yesterday... we will be doing more giveaways. Often. In fact, more are in the works as we speak! That means more chances to win. All the time. All sorts of Giveaways. Something for everyone!
Enter one, enter all! So keep checking back!

In the meantime, please enjoy these discounts that several of our sponsors have graciously made available exclusively to those who entered the $4500 New Year New You Giveaway!

ALL DEALS START NOW & WILL EXPIRE ON 12/18/11 - HURRY!

~Catherine from Shabby Lane Shops is offering a TWO WEEK free trial membership & business card printing $30 for front and back ~ color & glossy for 1000 cards (normally $65). Contact her for details. See how much traffic a shop on SLS brings to your page!

~Mimi from Belle Inspiration magazine is offering 20% off a half page OR a full page ad. (HINT: I get a LOT of traffic from my ads in her magazine!) This also includes the Belle Inspiration web button, too!

~Sherri from Upcycled Soul is offering 20% off anything in her shop! Altered perfection.

~Jennae & April of The Crystal Cottage Boutique are giving away a free lip gloss (worth $6) with a purchase from their jaw-dropping online boutique.

~Calico Juno Designs is offering 20% off ALL jewelry in their shop! Use code 625 at checkout.

~CarolineAlexander is offering free shipping on all US orders through 12/19/11. Great stuff!

~AJ Bloom is offering 20% off anything in their shop to their new fans! Boutique bliss.

~Laura from La Vie Charmante is offering 10% off absolutely anything in her shop. French antique chic!

~Blooming Hairlooms is offering to ship your order (of at least $20) FREE inside the USA. Use coupon code FREESHIP at checkout.

~Terry from Here to There Life Coaching is very generously offering to 25% off 1 month coaching (3 sixty minute sessions) regularly $180 now $120 if you sign up during the monnth of January 2012.

~If you need any assistance on your own website (or getting one started!) I am offering 10% off any service I offer at Designher Brands through 12/18/11 to entrants of this Giveaway.

~Sharon from Pansy Cottage & Garden is offering a very generous 30% off this week.

I may be adding more to this list as the day goes on, so don't forget to stop back here to find even more great deals!

AND THE WINNER IS......................

2011-12-12T10:25:00.000-05:00

$4,500 in prizes.

Ten days of anticipation.

Over 30 contributors.

More than 15 dozen hopeful entrants.

One.
Changed.
Life.

random.org has spoken:

comment #14

Jessie Lowery

She will enjoy all of the items generously contributed by our sponsors.

~ All $4,500 worth of prizes ~

We hope it will change your life in 2012!

AND for those of you who entered and didn't win THIS time, several of our sponsors are offering exclusive discounts to you as a THANK YOU for entering! I will post a list shortly of all of the discounted deals for you to enjoy for a limited time.

This is the first of MANY Giveaways at DesignherBrands.

We plan to make 'brightening some lucky lady's day' a regular occurrence around here.

Our Facebook Fans & Blog Followers are the FIRST to find out about Giveaways, sales and other goodies.

Got an idea for Giveaway? Want to contribute? Contact me for more details.

A very special thank you to all who entered and to all the wonderfully generous ladies who contributed to this marvelous opportunity. I hope you will enjoy your new found connection with them. Each is truly talented and oh-so very, very nice to know.

The Ultimate $4,500 NO EXCUSES Giveaway!

2011-12-01T08:16:00.008-05:00

THE GIVEAWAY HAS ENDED.

BECOME A FACEBOOK FAN TO GET THE SCOOP ON

PLENTY OF OTHER GIVEAWAYS AND PRIZES ON THE HORIZON!

As many of you know, this past year I started Designher Brands. A place where women in small business can come for help with just about all of their online business start-up needs. I've enjoyed working with everyone so much and still get such a sense of excitement when I see a new business launch. I know first hand how difficult (and expensive!) it can be to get started. SO.......with the New Year approaching, I thought it might be ~~nice~~ FANTASTIC to give one lucky winner the chance to fulfill their dream of becoming an online entrepreneur! I've assembled a group of uber thoughtful, successful (and generous!) female entrepreneurs to help you on your way.

Whether you're starting a new business or revamping and expanding an existing business - you don't want to miss out on this UNBELIEVABLE opportunity!

We're hoping it'll be a life-changer for some lucky dreamer.

ONE lucky winner will receive everything shown below.

~Over $4,500 worth of prizes~

This amazing opportunity starts TODAY, Thursday, December 1st, 2011 and ends on Sunday, December

11th, 2011 at midnight EST. The winner will be chosen via Random.org and announced on this blog on Monday December 12th, 2011.

Items donated will be provided to the winner directly through individual sponsors.

To get you started off right you'll need a website design and some help getting it set up.

AVALON ROSE DESIGN

First impressions are everything, so 'professional head-turner' Catherine from Avalon Rose Design has graciously offering any of her current one-of-a-kind design templates (and installation) to use as your online boutique store front. That's a value of up to $450! Catherine's designs can be seen in hundreds of places online, in print and on television. She has designed all of my websites and blogs. Aren't they great? Good luck choosing just one!

DESIGNHER BRANDS

Once you are ready to go with your design installed and have signed up with a compatible web host, the backstage work begins. You won't have to worry about the pesky little details that make such a difference when opening an online shop. I specialize in that over at Designher Brands. You'll receive a customized and individualized About Me page, compliant privacy policy page, shipping and shop policy page, events calendar, guest book set up, favorite links, a home page blurb, FAQs page. And that's not all. I'll also write a press release and disseminate it through various online media sources to get the word out and introduce you to the world!

There are over two dozen other prizes below. Everything from products and services to fill your shop, your office, your jewelry box and your soul... and even some fabulous PRESS!

~~HERE WE GO~~

As you embark on this life-changing journey, prepare your heart, mind and soul with these amazing packages designed to help you build confidence & reach your true potential.

BRAVE GIRLS CLUB

Melody Ross & Kathy Wilkins of the beloved Brave Girls Club are so very generously offering a $100 towards any of their amazing online classes! Soul Restoration? Body Restoration? You decide!

Brave Girls Club is an online community, a portal for amazing connections, a news source for everyday heroes, a resource for great ideas, amazing endeavors, everyday problem solving, realistic recipes and unforgettable get-togethers. Brave Girls Club is a place to feel free, to feel peace, and to feel brave. Brave Girls Club is not an exclusive club…every woman is invited. Brave Girls Club is life-changing fun, life-changing truths, and life-changing friendships. While you're over there, don't forget to sign up for their Daily Truth emails for inspiration everyday.

HERE TO THERE LIFE COACHING

All of this business of being in business can be quite overwhelming. Professional life coach, Terry, from Here to There Life Coaching is offering three sixty-minute "Here to There" coaching sessions. Each session focuses on you and your agenda, giving you the opportunity to explore, discover and implement a plan to really move your new business idea forward, or to take your already established business to the next level in 2012!

You need a base of operations. A place to call home. Whether it's a store front, a home office or a desk in a random corner of the house... it should be a place you can feel inspired, organized and welcome. We'll help you decorate it in a way that's sure to keep you inspired throughout your venture!

THE CRYSTAL COTTAGE BOUTIQUE

The very lovely and talented Jennae and April at The Crystal Cottage boutique have generously donated a $50 gift certificate to their jaw-dropping shop. Whether you choose something to beautify your office or beautiful pillow to rest your head on after a ling day at the office-you'll definitely find something you'll adore here!

EVERYDAY IS A HOLIDAY

Jenny Holiday and Aaron Nieradka artists extraordinaire at Everyday is a Holiday are generously sending this darling lil print to the winner to welcome 'the new girl in town' to the world of online business ownership. You can't help but smile every time you look at it!

She's the new girl in town...Her favorite color is somewhere between aqua and teal. She shops on etsy, and loves to art journal. :) She make's the perfect best friend...because you two seem to share the same eye for fashion, decor, and splendid collections. We're willing to bet that she's an awesome gift giver as well!

FOR THE LOVE OF JUNK

No stranger to selecting beautiful items to fill her own shops with, Sheryn at For the Love of Junk is giving away a beautiful corkboard fit within an antique frame to keep your office beautiful AND organized!

LAVENDER FIELDS

At Lavender Fields we believe a home should be cherished and filled with things you love. Our commitment is to offer our customers products for their home and personal use that are unique and truly rewarding. Every item in our store and in our online shop is personally selected by us for you. These items are things we cherish and live with every day. Our home is filled with everything that we offer to you. We stand behind the products we sell and we know we are bringing you top quality and beautiful items for you to cherish in your home. Lavender Fields is kindly offering a $50 gift certificate to their online boutique.

UPCYCLED SOUL

"Heart Song" by Sherri Boyce of Upcycled Soul. One of a kind 12 X 12 mixed media art canvas made using acrylics, charcoal pencil, permanent pen, scrapbook papers, rub-ons, handmade coffee filter blossom with vintage sewing pattern and hymnal music for the background and sprayed with a sealant for protection. It's sure to inspire you through each day of your new business! It was created especially for the winner of this giveaway! How fantastic is this!?

Perfect pretties to fill your shop with or to use as props to make your product pics stand out...

A GILDED LIFE

Winner gets the surprise January box from the VERY coveted Gilded Girls Stash Society! Brimming with their signature impeccable finds that will have you creating 'til you drop. Valued at more than $120. The image below is a photo of a previous Collection and not the one you will receive - instead...the winner will receive the yet-to-be-revealed JANUARY STASH SOCIETY COLLECTION. Lucky you!

AJ BLOOM

The talented Jennifer Goff from AJ Bloom has ever-so-kindly offered a $60 gift certificate to her darling shop. Such cute things to choose from! They specialize in handmade hair accessories, applique tees and bloomers. Use as baby gifts, to resell or even for photo props.

BELLA RENNIE

Sherry from Bella Rennie has generously offered a $75 gift certificate to her fan-too-stical Etsy shop where she offers some of the most glorious paper creations I've seen! Use these cards as Thank Yous, Invitations, Gift Tags or get started stocking your shop for resale.

CAROLINE ALEXANDER

Jennifer, owner of the amazing Caroline Alexander, has blessed the winner with a stunning including all of the following: a red velvet flower brooch, pin with a jeweled center, a black ribbon rose necklace on a velvet cord accented with black feathers, a cluster of Caroline Alexander ribbon rose brooches (in lime, tobacco and putty), an upcycled ruffled denim flower pin, a black wristlet handbag with a sequined bracelet carry and a felted red rose pin! Caroline Alexander offers wholesale to shops so be sure to stop over and see what other pretties you can stock the shop with!

FOR THE LOVE QUILTS

The beautiful & talented Lucrecia Hale is owner of For The Love Quilts (and mom to 5 kiddos) who is obsessed with fabrics! She started her online venture to indulge her love of sewing, fabric and quilting and to share her favorite patterns and finished quilts with the world. She has graciously offered all of the quilt patterns below to the lucky winner so that they may create beautiful quilts of their own!

(Patterns are for personal use only and are non-transferable and cannot be resold or distributed).

JENNIFER WOLSEY PHOTOGRAPHY

Jennifer Wolsey is a well-known natural light photographer from upstate New York. Her work has been seen all over the web as well as in several notable publications. Jennifer will send the winner some of her favorites from her collection of fabulous, professional stock photographs. Use them to jazz up your blog posts!

(Images are for personal use only and are non-transferable and cannot be resold or distributed).

JWD Boutique

Don’t settle for the ordinary! We believe stationery & keepsakes should be artistically inspired, uniquely creative and beyond ordinary. JWD Boutique's designs are sure to surprise and delight. We are a creative husband and wife team with over 16 years experience in the wedding industry. We are offering 40 Note Cards, a $60 value.

MARY NOT MARTHA

Mary Not Martha is an online Etsy shop dedicated to offering high quality supplies for millinery, couture, costume design and altered art in a vintage spirit. I just love everything she carries! The winner will receive a $50 gift card to her shop.

PANSY COTTAGE & GARDEN

Pansy Cottage & Garden: where comfortable cottage style meets the influence of Paris sprinkled with a bit of whimsy. The winner will receive a $50 gift card to their amazing store. They offer handmade pillows, cottage chic and French themed home decor and romantic aprons that you won't find anywhere else.

SNAZZIEDRAWERS

SnazzieDrawers offers royalty free boutique PDF sewing patterns and tutorials for beginners with step by step instructions on how to make your own flowers, headbands, fascinators, and couture boutique style children's clothing with a touch of vintage inspiration. Joy is offering her Master Pattern Collection to the winner which includes all 21 of their delicious shop patterns. ($105 value)

(Patterns are for personal use only and are non-transferable and cannot be resold or distributed).

Build your business with confidence. You're sure to garner attention once your new shop is featured in these noteworthy places!

AVALON ROSE MARKET SQUARE

Once your new website from Avalon Rose Designs is installed, you'll be added to the oft-visited community of beautiful websites at Avalon Rose Market Square.

ADORED BEFORE

Winner gets a sidebar button ad on Adored Before's fun blog for six months.

STAMPINGTON & COMPANY

Stampington & Company is offering one complimentary Logo Link ad in their monthly email newsletter, Artisan Avenue (value of $79). This amazing e-newsletter provides the opportunity to connect with their loyal and enthusiastic subscriber base of passionate and artistic women. Reaching over 32,000 subscribers, Artisan Avenue is like a virtual art fair filled with compelling content such as: special discount offers on art and crafting products, projects and demonstrations, exclusive giveaways, free downloads, and more!

BELLE INSPIRATION MAGAZINE

Mimi of Belle Inspiration magazine is generously offering a free digital Subscription to the {awesome!} magazine and a 1/2 page advertisement in Belle Inspiration. Says Mimi:

"Our motto is 'Celebrating La Joie de Vivre' and we want you to come and be a part of it."

CRESCENDOH

The brainchild of the amazing Ms. Jenny Doh, Crescendoh is a place where like-minded creatives gather to shine light on the best projects and ideas from the online world. In doing so, CRESCENDOh builds an organic, home-grown development of increased visits to CRESCENDOh, resulting in a mutual home-grown development of increased visits to its linked sites.

In addition to the links to projects and ideas, CRESCENDOh helps tell unique and heartfelt ART SAVES stories from successful artists who serve as Guest Curators throughout the year. Reader-submitted stories about ART SAVES are also collected and shared, to help the CRESCENDOh community learn about the global power of art.

Jenny is offering the lucky winner two weeks of free sidebar advertising valued at $90!

ROMANTIC HOMES MAGAZINE

Flaunt your new venture with an ad in Romantic Homes. Winner will receive a free print ad in the popular Pink Pages section of the magazine!

SHABBY LANE SHOPS

The uber-sweet Catherine Monceaux of Shabby Lane Shops has graciously offered the winner a boutique storefront on her popular online mall for SIX whole months!

You gotta look the part to feel the part. Decorate yourself with these pretties!

AN ERA'S AMBIANCE

Reveal your "Inner Goddess" with Terah Ware's vintage jewelry collection, "An Era's Ambiance". Stand out from the rest with an original, upcycled design, "The Knight's Leo" Necklace. A rare antique medallion etched with a knight and lion, beautiful fire polished Czech glass beads in majestic hues and a divine patina vintage style filigree with brass findings! A gorgeous design valued at $55! Terah's collections are available and showcased at exclusive venues such as the International best author, Nora Robert's art gallery, "Gifts Inn Boonsboro," the "Somewhere In Time" historic hotel, "The Grand Hotel" on Mackinac Island and various other vintage boutiques.

BITTERSWEET RIDGE JEWELRY

Owner, Susan Kottwitz, specializes in affordable, handmade floral themed jewelry that’s been sold around the world since 1991. Celebrate your inner bliss and feminine power with a piece of one of a kind art jewelry from Bittersweet Ridge Jewelry. The winner will receive this handmade flower necklace with sensual natural Botswana agate gemstones and mother of pearl flower pendant accented with freshwater pearls and sterling silver.

BLOOMING HAIRLOOMS

Sara of Blooming Hairlooms has generously offered one of her adorable and oh-so-happy custom crowns to the winner. Wear it as you strategize your new business or just keep it by your desk to remind you that you are always a queen. The image below is a representation of her work. The crown the winner will receive is a SURPRISE hand selected by Sara just for her.

CALICO JUNO DESIGNS

Calico Juno Designs lovingly crafts all their gemstone jewelry by hand, with great attention to detail. With over 950 designs in every color in the rainbow, there's something for everyone. Bonnie is generously offering this pair of showstopping Nouveau Earrings to help you look your best as you head into the new year!

JULEE IRELAND
Julee Ireland products can be found in boutiques everywhere!

She is kindly offering the winner an exclusive gift bag containing all of the following:

a Jute Tote bag -B simple B true B u, a boxed set of her monogram stationery with envelopes (8 cards and envelopes in the set and winner can select the letter), a boxed set of 8 Thank you notes with envelopes (Thanks a bunch design) AND an added bonus-One of her Patented Greeting card soaps beautifully packaged (Thanks a bunch design) just for following Julee Ireland!)

LA VIE CHARMANTE

My very first client ever, the lovely Laura Desmarais hit the scene as a new shop owner herself this year and has already been booming! Her boutique La Vie Charmante offers beautiful French vintage and antique finds as well as French inspired jewelry. She is giving away this glorious necklace~tres chic!

You won't soon be forgotten in this glorious 'Forget-Me-Not' necklace. A very beautiful , long, vintage necklace is layered with the the pendant necklace. It has milky white glass beads, some larger and with a very lovely swirled design, and metal filigree beads. This necklace is very old and has a lovely patina and shabby chic look. It can be worn separately or attached behind the pendant and worn together.

And now...RELAX!

with New York Times Bestselling Author: CHRISTINA SKYE

Now that you've been crazy busy getting everything ready for your new venture, grab a cup of tea and curl up with a couple of amazing reads. Winner gets a signed copy of her brand new book, 'A Home by the Sea' that just came out a few weeks ago!

AND a copy of The Knitting Diaries, three stories about three inspiring women who overcame amazing odds through companionship ... and their love of knitting. This book is signed by all three authors: Christina Skye, Susan Mallery and Debbie Macomber.

And as if THAT weren't enough, Christina is an avid knitter herself and just knows you'll be inspired to whip something up after these inspiring reads! She has generously offered to send the winner digital downloads of two of her very own patterns.

PHEW-That's ALOTTA loot! Time to

Entering is FREE and easy. It's open to all women over the age of 18 inside the USA (for shipping and legal purposes) looking to start living the dream of online entrepreneurship.

Here's what to do:

1. Visit EVERY single one of the sponsors' Facebook Fan pages. "Like" their page if you haven't already. Be a dear and leave them a note letting them know you've been there.

I've tried to make this as easy as possible for you. Each and every sponsor's Facebook page is linked below. Just click on their names to be swept away to their Facebook Fan pages.

THEN- and this is important!

2. Come back here to the blog after you have "Liked" ALL of the pages and leave me a comment on THIS post stating that you have completed the above step.

***You MUST complete both steps in to be eligible to win.***

YOU MAY HAVE TO LIKE A FEW PAGES TODAY AND PICK UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF AND DO THE REST TOMORROW~ SOMETIMES FACEBOOK ONLY LETS YOU LIKE SO MANY PAGES IN A ROW ...

SPONSOR FACEBOOK PAGES:

Adored Before

A Gilded Life
AJ Bloom

An Era's Ambiance

Avalon Rose Design {includes Market Square}

Bella Rennie

Belle Inspiration Magazine

Bittersweet Ridge Jewelry

New York Times Bestselling Author, Christina Skye

Crescendoh

The Crystal Cottage Boutique

Designher Brands

Everyday is a Holiday
For the Love Designs

For the Love of Junk

Here to There Life Coaching

Jennifer Wolsey Photography

Julee Ireland
Just Wright Designs

Lavender Fields

La Vie Charmante

Mary Not Martha

Pansy Cottage & Garden

Romantic Homes Magazine

Shabby Lane Shops

Snazzie Drawers

Stampington & Company

Upcycled Soul

**This giveaway is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by, or associated in any way with Facebook or it's affiliates as directed by their updated guidelines. By entering this contest, you are providing information to Designher Brands and NOT to Facebook.**

A special thank you to all of the extraordinarily generous ladies who have contributed to this amazing giveaway. {A special shout-out to Joy of Snazziedrawers for her tips & encouragement!} Everyone's kindness and generosity simply blew me away!

10 Frighteningly Fantastic Free (& Fun) Fonts

2011-11-27T17:09:00.002-05:00

Pin It

Ribbon Happy

Angelic War

Pea Mee-Mee

Stinkerella & Stinkzilla

and just in time for Christmas:

tonight's the night

ENJOY PLAYING WITH THESE!

*Frame graphic from Catherine of Avalon Rose

Just Say No

2011-11-20T21:38:00.001-05:00

The Perils Of People Pleasing

By Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.

Eleanor Roosevelt was once quoted as saying, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If you are a people pleaser, it’s likely you struggle with low self-esteem. If you will inconvenience yourself to try to please others, you don’t value your own goals and priorities. If you don’t respect the use of your own time, no one else will either.

I’ve said it before, but it bears saying again: ‘No’ is the most powerful word in the human language. When you can comfortably say, “No” to requests for your time, energy, ideas, and money, you gain the respect of others because you respect yourself and have good boundaries.

You are not a people pleaser when you have a solid “No” and a solid “Yes.” What I mean by that is that you can stick to your guns and hold to your “Yes” or “No.” When you can’t yet say, “No” comfortably, there’s no joy in the giving. Eventually you will feel burdened and resentful of the responsibilities you’ve taken on. You may want to blame or be angry at the other person who pressed you for your help, but you really did this to yourself. No one held a gun to your head when asking you to bake cookies for the church bake sale or coach the Little League again this year. Sure, they may have used flattery, i.e. “but you’re so GOOD at this!” Or, they may have used guilt, i.e. “but there’s NOBODY else to do this!”

Rather than succumb to the pressures of flattery or guilt, you could practice saying “No” gracefully. To flattery, you might respond, “Yes, you’re right. I am good at this; however, I want to give someone else an opportunity to shine while I take on other challenges.” To guilt, you might respond, “I know you’ve come to rely on me, and I am sure that when I step aside someone else, equally as capable, will step up to the challenge. Have you thought of asking _____________?” Or, if someone just makes a straightforward request, but it’s at a time that’s inconvenient for you, you might respond, “I’d love to help, but this is not a good time for me, as I already have plans.” And, if you are not busy and you just don’t want to comply with a request, you could always say, “I know you need help, but I am unable to help at this time.” PERIOD. You don’t need to make something up to justify when you don’t want to help. Not wanting to is reason enough. If they press you as to why you can’t help them, you can just repeat yourself, “I’m sorry, but I cannot help you.”

If you are a people pleaser and you say “Yes” to a request, when the resentment builds up because you said “Yes” when you wanted to say, “No,” you don’t have a solid “Yes.” To cope, you may back out of your commitment at the last minute, do something passive-aggressive, like “forget,” or fulfill the request, but do so while being in a bad mood or do so poorly. It is better to have a solid “Yes” and “No” on the front end than end up disappointing people or appearing unreliable.

The other thing I want to say about people pleasing is that when we are sacrificing our own needs for those of others, that is NOT love. It is co-dependence. Putting others first at the continual expense of ourselves is not good for us. Giving to others, when it is not returned or reciprocated, is not a healthy relationship. It is servitude. There I said it!

Yes, of course, we want to please the people we love and who love us in return. However, when you are giving to others out of love, giving becomes receiving. It is not motivated by a desire to “give to get.” Giving in this way is a true gift and requires no reciprocation. The joy in giving comes both from a sense of abundance, of having lots to share, and the joy in the pleasure it will give the other. You are both enhanced and fulfilled by the giving.

Author's Bio:

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist and seminar leader in Carbondale, Illlinois specializing in stress management and women's issues.

What's Your Secret?

2011-11-18T19:06:00.002-05:00

Photo by Jennifer Wolsey

Each of us nurture secret dreams and aspirations. The "what if", the "when everything else settles down", the "when the kids get older", the "when I have the money".

And these dreams are good. They give us hope, energy, a place to escape, the power to visualize something other than our current choices. Our secret dreams sustain us and enrich our lives. For a while.

Secret dreams and aspirations have a lifespan of their own. Over time, and without warning, the lack of action, the failure to take one step in their direction, the loss of faith to make them real, secret dreams and aspirations slip into missed opportunities, or even worse, embarrassment and regret.

A dream become regret is a heavy chain binding the spirit, always waiting at the edge of consciousness to wrap another length of chain around the heart.

Nothing in your life is beyond redemption. Not even regrets. And certainly not dreams.

Have you let them out lately? Written them down or told a friend or lover? Giving voice to those dreams is a first step. Let them out, let them roam. The confidence to express your dreams is a step toward making them real.

Scary? You bet.

Worth it? Absolutely.

Need a way to recapture a dream become regret? Be thankful for it.
Be thankful that you had the ability to imagine, to hope and to feel it in the first place.

Reach back and find - it's still in there - the joy it brought you. Dust it off, roll it around in your mind a while, let it out, and visualize what could be, if you only take the chance.

-Victoria Monfort

Blogging for Business: Tips and Strategies to Make Your Website's Blog Work for You

2011-11-16T13:07:00.001-05:00

Just finished an article on 'Business Blogging'. If you'd like to share it on your blog (free) just copy and paste this article (including footer with credits) to your blog. There's some great information for new bloggers here - and even for those 'veteran' bloggers.

Image from The Huffington Post

Business Blogging Strategies for Beginners

By Melissa Bolton

Blogging for Business: Tips and Strategies to Make Your Website's Blog Work for You

If you're in business online, you probably have a blog. If you don't have a business blog yet - you need to get a business blog. Blogging for business is a crucial (and free) way to advertise yourself, your website and your products. It also helps with search engines to affiliate your business website with relevant keywords.

What makes a successful blog? This is one of those answers that's as simple as it seems. A blog is a necessary extension of your business website. Your blog is a great marketing tool, but it's a mistake to use it solely as a marketing tool. Readers don't want to return to a blog that is completely self-serving and reads like an infomercial.

Here are some great tips to help make your blogging experience more fun and more beneficial:

Offer Quality Content
Seems like it goes without saying, but you might be surprised at how often this is overlooked. In order for your blog to be successful, it needs to be engaging. Plenty of people may follow or read your blog, the key is to get the to leave comments and remember what you had to say. Comments aren't the only way to make your blog interesting and interactive. You can also make use of questions, polls, interesting facts, links, relevant videos, your favorite things, and many other things that involve human interest and touch on emotions.

Catchy Title and Opening Sentence
Your title and opening sentence are your post's first impression. You know what they say about first impressions. Make your title and opening sentence engaging and interesting and your reader is more likely to stick around and read the rest of your post. They may even share it! Also, good use of words in a blog title is more likely to be scooped up by the search engines. Ask yourself 'is this something I would want to read?' If not, there's a good chance your reader won't want to read it either.

Post Regularly
If you're blogging for business, then you should get yourself on a blogging schedule. If someone is a devout follower of your blog, it won't take long for them to tire of stopping by your blog to see the same post they saw last week. With so many blogs to look at they may move on to someone who posts more frequently. Don't let that happen. Post regularly. Even if regularly is only once or twice a week, it keeps your content fresh, keeps people interested and gives them a chance to connect with you. Whether it's a favorite quote, video or picture... it's still new content. Another idea I employ is to have blog posts written in advance to post for those times when 'life happens'.

Keep it Positive
One of the worst things you can do is to be negative. If you're in the business of complaining or trash talking your competition, chances are-you won't have many readers. If you do have readers, they're likely not the readers you want. A business blog is not the place for highly controversial topics and negativity-you alienate readers and risk coming across as unpleasant or difficult. Some may argue that controversy draws traffic, but that's not a chance worth gambling your business credibility with.

It Takes a Friend to Make a Friend
Comments. Who doesn't love 'em? One of the easiest ways to bring attention to your own blog is to leave comments on other blogs. Not only is it good free publicity, it's a nice thing to do. Besides-you just might learn something or uncover some good tips or a sale. Win-Win.

Make it Personal
I can't say it enough. Take advantage of social media (Facebook, LinkedIn...) One of the best things about social media outlets is that they offer a targeted audience to share new ideas, products and information. Blogs and social media outlets allow the buyer/potential buyer to see you on a more personal level which is almost always good for business.

Guest Blogging
Guest blogging is a great way to promote other businesses. You're giving your guest the attention of your audience and at the same time, you will be introduced to a new audience of readers and gain some publicity by being a guest blogger on their site. Everyone wins: new exposure & new readers for the writers and new perspective for the readers. Nice.

Use Links & Keywords
Your blog is one of the best places for you to take advantage of relevant links and search engine friendly keywords. Whenever possible link back to your website, your previous blog posts and/or your social media sites. When you share the other places you can be located online, it saves the reader the trouble of having to research the information. It also gives you credibility and shows your willingness to showcase your wares across several channels. Aren't you savvy and established to be all over the place!

Analytics and Trackers
Take advantage of the free analytic and tracking software available out there. You can find out what sites or keywords brought visitors to your blog, where they are 'bouncing' to, the geographic demographic of your readers, how long people were on your site, what posts were most popular and so much more. Try Google analytics to get started.

End on a High Note
Your first few sentences determine if your reader will stick around. Once they have gotten to the end, the trick becomes getting them to come back. I always suggest ending on a positive note, as well as with a call to action. Both will make the reader feel engaged and curious about what's to come. Don't you agree?

Melissa Bolton is a freelance copywriter and internet marketing strategist specializing in women-owned small businesses. | She can be reached at melissa@designherbrands.com or online at http://designherbrands.com

Thank You

2011-11-11T09:34:00.000-05:00

Pause.

Reflect.

Pray.

Thank.

Today and every day.

Thank you to Veterans and their families. You are appreciated.